Revisiting Nicaragua: Part 3

Saturday 16 August 2008

Rob said I would regret it if I didn’t go out to the forest again. He said he would go with me. So we got up at 5:45am and went out. We found the North Group very low, around point 13, where I thought I had heard them yesterday. I know it was them because the first one I saw was Medio. I wandered back into the brush and found some more. One of the females that I saw was missing her right eye. She had a juvenile though. It must have been a tough dry season.

In total, we saw 6 or 7 females, 4 juveniles, and 3 males. Wrinkle Belly was not among them. I’m not totally convinced that he’s gone from this world though. He might just be on one of his constitutionals.

Adult female eating Acacia

We continued up aways and found the South Group around point 17. I saw Uno, eating Leucaena. Couldn’t get a count on the South Group because it started raining and they were all howling and moving around. There were at least 4 males though, a couple of juveniles, and a ventral infant.

It poured for about 2 hours. We kept walking farther and farther up the volcano, to over 200m of elevation. It was interesting to see it up there. We saw at least 1 more troop of monkeys.

Finally we came back down. I was really happy we had gone out to the forest again. I felt much better in the forest today and it was really good to locate both of my study groups.

We came back, showered, and fell into an exhausted sleep. Had lunch and then later in the afternoon I washed our clothes, talked some more to Reina and Argentina. Rob swam out to Monkey Island (1km away). While he was doing so, I ended up finding our old dog Scott Fargus. He came into our room (for old times sake) and I gave him some crackers. He waited at the dock with me for Rob, but after a while he got tired of it and left. Finally Rob got back from his swim at about the same time that Byron (a hacienda employee) and some of the boys (Horatio, Eugenio, and Darwin) arrived in Al’s new sailboat from some sort of fishing expedition. The cheered Rob in and pronounced him a good swimmer (buen nadador).

Ometepe sunset

Around 5pm, I couldn’t wait any longer to see if Milena had really gone to Pul, and I went back to her house. Her little son Angel Gabriel (Eduardo’s half brother) was outside and told me that she was not home, she would be back later. I don’t know if this means she went to Pul to tell Eduardo we’re here or not. I’m not sure what to do. I think I will go to see her tomorrow. If she didn’t go or Eduardo doesn’t show up, I want to head to Altagracia on Monday, get a place to stay, and then go look for him in Pul. I’m not sure how much of this Rob is on board for. He doesn’t think Eduardo is as good as I think he is, or that even if he once was, he is no longer. I’m trying not to think about it too much: whether we find him or don’t, whether he is as good as gold or not.

*****

It was almost 9pm when out of the darkness a small figure approached, saying, “Melíssa!” It was Eduardo. He had a shy little smile on his face. I hugged him and kissed his cheek. He sat down beside me. He said he had come back on the bus from Altagracia with his mom.



I tried to ask him questions that would be friendly and not too prying. Things like, “Do you like living in Altagracia?” (Yes, he said he did). I asked him how long he had been living there and he said since February—the same time his emails to me had stopped. His voice was very small and his face so solemn. After his first little smile, there was nothing to match it. I told him to come with me because I had a present for him. He was hesitant but eventually followed. I dug out the shirt from my bag and held it up to him. I explained that “Urbana” was my town and that the “Market in the Square” was a place where you could buy all sorts of lovely fruits and vegetables. “Okay, gracias,” he said. The shirt was going to be way too big for him.

We walked back to the others and I asked him if he was okay. He said yes. I was unconvinced, so I asked him if he was sad and he said no. Then I asked if he was shy and I think he may have nodded a little.

We went back to the hammocks in the main area. Rob and I kept trying to think of things to say: asking questions about his school, his friends, where he lived with his grandma and uncles in Pul. He sat on the hammock, twisting his t-shirt and answering our questions but without any of the joyful Eduardo energy that I’d once known him to have.

After a while his mom walked in. I was surprised to see her, but also very glad that she hadn’t just sent him out in the dark alone. She looked cleaned up, so much better than the day before. “I told him you were here and he didn’t believe me. He thought I was lying,” she said. Eduardo did not look happy that she had arrived.

A bunch of the kids in the English class (the class that Eduardo had once been a part of) were hanging around. When a jovial boy named Junior walked past, he and Eduardo looked at each other and exchanged words that seemed a little tense.

I just didn’t know what to make of it all. Was he just shy and overwhelmed? Had he forgotten about me? Could he have cared less? About the most he said to me was to ask me why I had come back and then something that translated literally as, “Are you a nurse to the monkeys?”

There was really only so much that could be said. Eventually, he looked at his mom and whispered, “Vamos.” They got up to leave. I hugged him and watched them walking away, thinking that I would never see him again.

I went back to the room and stared at the wall for a while. When Rob came in to go to bed, I went back out to the main area, where we’d been sitting with Eduardo. So much had happened in his little life. He didn’t look any bigger after one year, but his eyes were more severe and his demeanor was serious and joyless. I wondered if he is always like that these days, or if it was just because his mom had made him take a long, hot bus ride to go back to a place he’d been sent away from, to see a strange white woman he only vaguely remembered from a long time ago.

He just seems lost to me now. Not like I even want to take him home with me and enroll him in Urbana Middle School and fix his breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day. When I left him a year ago, I told him, “Stay gold, Eduardo,” just like in the book The Outsiders. I know this is exactly why Rob thought it was a bad idea for me to go looking for him: because nothing gold can stay.

Revisiting Nicaragua: Part 2

Friday 15 August 2008
It feels like the whole last year of my life was a dream and I never left this place.

Rob went with me to the forest after breakfast. The path up there is mainly the same, except there are now plantains growing where the Costa Rican guy bought land, and a lot of trees have been cut down south of the path as you head up.

Though it was late, we heard a few howls. Some were definitely to the North, but its all overgrown with Acacia and is completely impassible. So we went South where the trails have been maintained for primatology students. I could sense the monkeys all around, and finally Rob spotted a lone female. We eventually found another female and a male. It must have been the South Group, but none were individuals I recognized. The second female had a lame left arm, either paralyzed or broken. She had trouble moving but didn’t look to be in obvious pain. She and the male ate Laurel mature leaves and Cecropia fruit.


I went wandering a bit. Trails I made have been expanded. I went to the point 40 Genizaro tree—where so much South Group action had taken place. A huge treefall that had happened in this area around July 4th, 2007, had mainly been cleared away and new vegetation was growing. While I wandered around up there, Rob saw the male and lame-armed female copulate.

We left to go home and stopped by Simeon’s on the way. It was good to see him; we talked for a while. He said that he didn’t think Wrinkle Belly was living anymore because he hadn’t seen him in a very long time. He smiled endearingly and told me in a poetic way. He said that Wrinkle Belly had had a good life, with many sons and daughters and many grandchildren now. He said that Wrinkle Belly is in a place where he doesn’t have to work and he doesn’t have to worry about every being hungry. He said that Wrinkle Belly’s spirit is all around us.

It is nice to think of like that, but still, I am not convinced that Wrinkle Belly is dead. I think the tough old bird may have had a few years in him yet.

We got back to the hacienda and saw Reina and Argentina some more. Reina scurried to hug and kiss me, and then kept looking at me like she couldn’t believe I was really back.

Later in the afternoon Rob and I went for a walk through town. We saw Jorge, who had been the former driver of the hacienda. He was the one who drove Rob and me to the hospital when Rob got sick right after we first arrived in August 2006. Jorge got fired for some reason; I’d been told it was because he’d been asked to poison some of the stray dogs (not really in his job description?) and he refused to do so. I always wondered if that was true or not.

We went to Eduardo’s mother’s home, which was my only shot at finding him, since nobody else seemed to know exactly where he went. Milena didn’t look well. She was disheveled and tired, her eyes were vacant. She’d been plucking a chicken when we arrived and had little feathers stuck to her fingers. She told me that Eduardo now lives in a town called Pul, just outside of Altagracia (on the other volcano, about an hour away). She said that there had been much suffering. It was really difficult to understand her because her voice was so far away, but what I got out of it was that there seemed to be a problem with an uncle who was abusive and alcoholic. She didn’t want Eduardo around that, so he had gone to live with his grandmother and other relatives in Pul. She said she had suffered much to let him go, and her eyes filled with tears.

She said she would go to Pul in the morning on the 4am bus, to tell Eduardo we were here. She said that he would come to Merida on Sunday. She said that some time ago he had told her he was coming back on a certain day and she had waited and waited for him, all day, but he had never come.

When we left Milena’s house, we kept walking, and I felt like I was in some sort of dream. We went to Daraysi’s house. She was happy to see us; she brought out 3 patio chairs for us all to sit in. She doesn’t work at the hacienda anymore. She said that the work had been too hard, the hours too long. It is true, she generally worked from 6am to 9pm just about 7 days a week. She said she had become sick and anemic and had to quit. She’d gone to Costa Rica for a while with some friends, but she had come back and now she helped her mother sell sodas and chips to the school children at recess.

Daraysi and Melissa. She wasn't smiling in the photo too much, but she really was happy to see us!

Right now I feel as exhausted as I did after one year of research. Feel like I just can’t deal with the forest anymore, ever in my life. Feel so overwhelmed. Like I can’t face life without Wrinkle Belly and an uncertain future for Eduardo. Wondering if Milena will go find him tomorrow and if he really will come back.

Revisiting Nicaragua: Part 1

Wednesday 13 August 2008
Long day of travel. When the plane finally touched down, I wanted to kiss the ground. We took a Paxeos shuttle and got to Granada just before 10pm. We went to Granada because Leda had emailed me and told me that that’s where she would be: Al was taking a group of students to visit the US Embassy, and she was going along because she is the nanny of Al and Esther’s baby, Itzel. The whole group was staying at Hostel Oasis, but I couldn’t make a reservation there, so Rob and I booked a room somewhere else.

We checked in to our place and then went to Oasis to see Leda. There was some mild confusion at the desk, but I managed to communicate in my rusty Spanish. Once I dropped Al’s name, everyone jumped up and started making things happen. Since we were so late, Leda was already asleep, but Al came out—more himself than ever. He invited us to “come along” with the students the next day, which I felt would be a total disaster.

Thursday 14 August 2008
Didn’t sleep at all. Woke up with a migraine and feeling fat. Long story short, we finally met Leda at Hostel Oasis. She is so darling, I love her. We had some time to talk for a while, and I asked her about Eduardo. She said she wasn’t sure what happened but thought he left because he and his mother didn’t get along. I tried not to be too sad about that.

Leda and Meli. Only in Nicaragua am I a giant.

Ometepe kids who got to go to the embassy. Top row: Alberto, Junior, Darwin. Bottom row: Eugenio, Lisbia, Horatio, Helen.

We ended up going on a carriage ride through Granada with Al, Esther, Baby Itzel, and the Ometepe children who had been to visit the Embassy. I still felt too terrible to enjoy the carriage ride, and instead just felt bad for the skinny horse who had to pull us all through town.
After the carriage ride, Al, Esther, Baby Itzel, and Nanny Leda left to go to Estelí. We suddenly became charged with the job of helping Tía Maria (Leda’s aunt) with the 7 Ometepe children for the rest of the day. Al had arranged all these activities for the kids to do. First, we did a tour of the San Francisco church and museum. The children were mainly bored by this. Plus, Rob and I ended up having to foot the bill (it wasn’t much, but still).

Proud papa: Don Al with Baby Itzel.

Al, Esther, and Baby Itzel on the carriage ride. Esther explained that Itzel means "star" in Nuahtl (the language of Ometepe's initial inhabitants).

Esther, Tia Maria, and Nanny Leda with Itzel.

Views of Granada from the bell tower of Iglesia San Francisco.

When the tour was over, we shepherded the children back to Hostel Oasis. Rob was actually the only one of us who knew where he was going. It was very difficult to keep track of everyone through the busy market. Little Helen held onto my hand the whole time—not sure if it was to reassure herself or reassure me.

Then we left for Volcan Masaya National Park, Jairo driving the truck. I couldn’t help but wonder how he learned to drive so expertly in frenetic city traffic after having spent all his life on sleepy Ometepe. I sat by Tia Maria (everyone calls her Tia Maria) and she reminded me of my own auntie.

We got to the park and wandered until 2:00pm. I felt terrible since I’d eating next to nothing the past day and had only toast for breakfast. We had a guide at the park (a woman guide—not something you see too often) who led us on some paths marked “prohibited.” Given my obsession with volcanoes, I would have loved it had I felt better.

Volcan Masaya's Santiago Crater.

Kids at Volcan Masaya

"No pasar"

Afterwards we stopped at a town called Catarina where there is a scenic lookout point of the Laguna de Apoyo. It was cold and rainy; I didn’t even take any pictures. The kids were such great troopers though. Nobody was even complaining, though little Helen did say to me—in English no less—“I’m hungry. We are all hungry.” So was I. I felt really bad for the kids.

We finally got to Rivas at 4pm, where Jairo had presumably been told to stop and get us all “lunch” “to go.” I didn’t even know they did such a thing in Nicaragua. I was so hungry I couldn’t form sentences. Somehow Rob and I managed to get a vegetarian plate: greasy white rice, a pipian (squash) sprinkled with Death Cheese, and a scoop of cucumber salad. It had been microwaved in Styrofoam, so if I end up with cancer, I will trace it to this day. I scraped off the Death Cheese and still called myself quasi-vegan.

We got on the 5:30pm ferry that actually left at 5:45. In the year since we have left the price of the ferry ride has doubled from 30 cordovas to 60 cordovas (about $3.00).

They had a shuttle waiting for us on the island. The kids had all gotten cokes and became super-hyper. We finally arrived at Hacienda Merida at around 8:30pm. Sonja and Doña Argentina were working when we got here. Argentina is so dear: she asked me how Rob and I were, how my parents are, how my little nephew is. It is very comforting to see familiar faces and be with people who were genuinely interested in the well-being of my family, but somehow the whole place just seems so overwhelming.

Exhausted. Will sleep and hope for a better morning.

Its that time of year again

We got back from Nicaragua last night. I kept a pen and paper journal while we were there and took lots of pictures, so over the next couple of days I’ll be posting about our trip.

While we were gone, it seems like it became autumn overnight. The weather was cool and rainy today and campus was flooded with some 30,000 students moving in. My tomatoes are finally red, and the mums in the front yard are budding. Plus, when I went to the grocery store, they had a big display of Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale for sale. So you know its that time of year again. It just seems like its come so soon.

Bear with me as try to get the trip journal and photos posted. I’m also trying to get a couple of abstracts together for this year’s meetings and work up the nerve to present an actual talk instead of a poster like I’ve always done before. When the abstract submission dates were far away, this wasn’t quite so nerve-wracking to think about. But now that the time draws near, I’ve got this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Well, its either nerves about the meetings or lingering effects of the Managua tap water I insisted on drinking, I guess we’ll never know. At any rate, thanks for reading, and there will be more soon.

We're leaving for Nicaragua sometime around 6 tomorrow morning, and I'm still up packing. That's really saying something, considering that I am only taking 1 carry-on. But there are always so many last-minute details. With any luck, in 24 hours we should be in Granada with Leda (long story).

Life is full of hellos and goodbyes. I'm just notoriously bad at the latter. My friend Mt is leaving for Argentina this Saturday, not just to visit this time, but for good. I don't think I could have gotten through the proposal-writing process without him. The world is going to seem a lot bigger with him being thousands of miles away. This is an occupational hazard in my field I suppose. You become friends with people, share the best of times and worst of times with them, and then at some point, you go your separate ways. I'm hopeful that we'll meet again someday.

And speaking of meeting again, there are a lot of people (and monkeys) I hope to find back in Nicaragua. I'm trying to stay calm about it all, but I must admit that I'm a little bit stressed. We probably won't have much for internet while we're there, but I'll post when/if I can.

For the moment, I need to finish packing and get some beauty rest for the big trip ahead. Thanks for reading.

What I got for Eduardo

I think this is what I am going to give Eduardo. While I was at the farmer's market (ie, "Market at the Square") this morning, I noticed that they were selling these t-shirts. I think its going to be way too big on him, but it was the smallest they had. It just kind of sums up what my life is about here, so I thought it would be a good thing for me to get him. Now I've just got to find him again. We'll see.

Vegan Cheese

Note: It doesn't actually melt. At least not by any way that I have tried. But that's okay because I don't like melted cheese anyway, so its not going to be something I miss.

Overall its not bad though. What I like best about it is that it does not come from a cow.